Despite the fact that the male orgasmic disorder is not the most common in our sexological therapies, more and more men are coming to the consultation to deal with this situation. In most cases, they have already searched the internet for solutions; They have even talked to a friend or colleague, but have not found an answer.
Male orgasmic disorder is the difficulty or inability to achieve an orgasm. It must be remembered that this situation is not synonymous with a lack of desire or arousal, although in specific cases there may be a lack of desire to have sexual relations.
What is male orgasmic disorder? Definition and symptoms
If we look at the definition given by the DSM-IV-TR, this disorder “is the persistent or recurrent absence or delay of orgasm despite a phase of sexual arousal.” Orgasm today has become a goal to be achieved in all relationships, and this can create pressure. However, it must be remembered that each person experiences this situation in one way or another.
The inability to achieve orgasm can cause discomfort when having sex. However, it must be taken into account that, within the male orgasmic disorder, from sexology, we classify two situations; anorgasmia and delayed ejaculation. The first is the inability to achieve orgasm with adequate stimulation and the second is the difficulty in achieving it.
The first is easy to detect, although it is not so easy to define what an “adequate stimulation” is. In the second male orgasmic dysfunction, we find ourselves with the difficulty of not being able to determine the time from which we can speak of orgasmic delay. As a rule, 25 minutes has been established, but it is impossible to apply this time in all cases.
There are different situations. On the one hand, there are men who cannot reach orgasm through intercourse (penetration) but who manage to do so through other mechanisms such as masturbation or oral sex; is the most common.
There is also the situation of those who can reach orgasm with penetration, but only if they have had a long previous stimulation, or those who have anorgasmia with the partner’s masturbation, but not with other practices.
What is common in all these situations are the consequences: dissatisfaction in sexual relations, anxiety, anger, irritability, insecurity, rejection, sexual relations begin to be experienced as something unpleasant.
Major Causes of Male Orgasmic Disorder
Most of the occasions tend to be primary (this situation has always existed), and only on some occasions do we find secondary ones (it has been occurring for a short time), and it is usually due to medical disorders, stress situations, drugs or pharmaceuticals. … The causes in both cases are very diverse and can be classified into two groups : psychological and organic.
Regarding the psychological or experiential ones, there are very different studies and some are correct and others are simple conjectures or suspicions. From our experience we can say that some of the possible reasons are:
Religious ideas (that make sexuality be seen as something negative and that produce rejection of everything sexual) or cultural ideas ( exaggerated expectations of the optimal sexual performance of the man who seeks to prolong sexual intercourse).
We cannot separate the body from the mind or the mind from the body. Therefore, stress, both at work and in the couple, is an associated factor.
As in the case of a lack of erection or premature ejaculation, giving too much importance to the situation can cause you to think about it too much, making the problem worse instead of less.
Prolonged use of reverse gear
Using the interruption of penetration as a contraceptive method, in the long run, can lead to difficulty reaching orgasm.
Experienced situations of abuse or violations can lead to the appearance of male orgasmic disorders.
Sometimes one thing leads to another so it is difficult to determine what happened before, the lack of self-esteem or the male orgasmic disorder. What is common is that men who come to sex therapy with this difficulty have low self-esteem, since they consider that they do not know how to satisfy their partner.
Among the most common causes within organic we have:
For example, hyperprolactinemia or diabetes.
Drug and drug use
SSRI-type medications ( antidepressants ) or those that interfere with the nervous response, can also produce this male orgasmic disorder.
Latrogenic causes or local surgeries
These affect the innervated area, which causes difficulty in reaching orgasm.
Spinal cord injuries, multiple sclerosis, and certain neuropathies can also cause this male orgasmic disorder.
Possible solutions to this disorder: the importance of professional help
Depending on the cause of the male orgasmic dysfunction, the solution or the direction to be taken will change. It is true that 90% of situations occur for psychological reasons, however, the first thing that is recommended is to rule out organic reasons. For this, it is necessary to have a consultation with the sexologist in Delhi.
In case the reason is organic, we will have to follow the instructions they give us. In case the origin is not physiological, sexual therapy should be started.
However, there are many men who, out of shame or because they “don’t feel less like men,” decide to try to solve it on their own. This means that this male orgasmic disorder, instead of disappearing, is maintained or worsened. Therefore, putting yourself in the hands of a sexologist is the best way to solve it.
In sexological therapy, once the causes are detected, the sessions will be adapted to each person. These are some of the directions we will take in the consultation.
Sexological therapy is based on offering correct sexual education. Always positive, seeking to overcome possible negative beliefs about sexuality. For this, you will be guided towards the enjoyment of the encounter and not so much the orgasm itself.
In a way, it is linked to the previous one. Knowing your body, your pleasures and your desires helps you learn to fully enjoy the encounter, leaving aside the expectations that you had placed on yourself. With this we achieve that you lose the fear of letting yourself go.
Communication and practices
Different exercises, practices and strategies so you can move forward at home. Sometimes these guidelines will be to carry out individually and in others with the couple. Thus, you will get to know the orgasm individually and, later, add your partner so that you can practice different postures, maneuvers… etc.
Other aspects will also be worked on, such as problems in the relationship (if any), self-esteem, or anxiety.
We can say that the best way to deal with a male orgasmic disorder is through sex therapy. On the one hand, because it is the way to recognize that you have a difficulty, and to do it without fear, shame or taboos. On the other hand, because 90% do not respond to organic causes. For this reason, do not be afraid to consult a sexologist and put yourself in the hands of the best professionals.